We all know that there is a love language you tell yourselves and your significant other. But did you know that there are three daily phrases you should be saying to your child also? This actually has basis in helping build a child’s self esteem.
A happy child becomes a healthy adult.
What are the three daily phrases?
This may seem like common sense, but the three daily phrases are sort of like affirmations for children. Your children are already learning from cues you give out. Some that are visual cues and some are what psychologists call kinesthetic cues (these are ones that are felt), and should already be part of your daily parenting arsenal. In this article of Psychology Today, we learn that auditory seems to be one of the most overlooked of the cues. So what are these daily phrases?
The three phrases are:
First: You are loved
Second: You are safe
Third: You are good enough
This seems simple right? With these simple phrases it seems that your child, even if they don’t show it initially, will absorb this and will impact the way that they think of themselves later on.
How are these different from what we are used to saying?
Believe it or not, there is a difference between these three daily phrases and those you may be used to saying. They may be slight, but they still make a difference. Here is how:
- I love you vs You are loved
These two phrases look, feel and sound almost the same, but they are not. The difference lies in the little pronoun of “I”. It implies that this is a love that is dependent on you, and can or will or could change. It is not as solid as making the pronouncement of “YOU”. When using YOU as the subject, it implies that the child is priority, and comes first. Nothing about them will stop the love from coming.
2. You are Safe
This seemingly obvious phrase makes it that where they are at, the moment, the place, with you is where they can feel comfortable because they will be safe. There are a lot of children that do not feel safe for one reason or another, which let’s their little imaginations run wild. This could lead to anxiety. Telling them they are safe no matter what, ensures that you and your family unit is a safe place to be, and any child that hears this will feel it.
3. And lastly: You are good enough
This is a big one. Ariane de Bonvoisin, MBA, who is a life coach and author of the article, says that one of the biggest things she sees daily is that adults were not told this when they were children. Now, they are trying to cope and strive harder for things that may sometimes be out of their control to the point of breaking down. The “more more more” mentality where nothing anymore is just “good enough” can break a child (and an adult) down. This is where this phrase helps. It shows your child that they are enough, just as they are.
Make these phrases a daily routine.
Simple really, right?
These are all such simple phrases but will make such a difference to your child and their developing self esteem. Try telling them these tomorrow, and start making a note of saying these three phrases daily. See how it will affect them and how it also affects you when you say them. Remember: your kids are always listening, even if you think they are not.
To read more on how to hone your child’s development and language, click here.
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